when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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