At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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