Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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