After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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