the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
