she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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