Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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