The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
