Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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