Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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