I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
