Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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