do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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