Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize