Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
