Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
