all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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