I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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