doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
