He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
