Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
