Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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