Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
