I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
