sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
