READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
