When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize