the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dicks are not precious.
I deserve this hangover.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
