Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
