How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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