I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
