I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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