i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
