I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
