If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
