normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
