R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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