So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
