he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
