Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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