how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
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