we have pet lesbian snakes
I want to make a zoo with you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
