I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
