im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
