I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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