Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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