my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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