Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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