Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
