I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize