So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize