have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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