My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
