I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
