OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
