girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
