I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
