I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
