The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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