love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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