when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize